Equal Time / Thanks for the 411

Posted by Marc Sussman

May 25, 2008

Thank you to Larry Kudlow for straightening us out.

He’s finally gotten to the bottom of it, establishing the source of our economic instability. We were mistaken, when we thought it might be,

oil at $125 a barrel, gas prices rising to over $4 a gallon;
a plummeting dollar;
food prices skyrocketing, worldwide starvation, riots;
12 billion dollars a week spent on a War that no one wants;
a U.S. economy kept afloat by foreign investors, our distressed corporate and financial assets purchased by anonymous sovereign wealth funds;
actions of the Treasury/Fed/Investment Banking systematically destroy trillions in economic value;
foreclosures at record levels, housing market continues to contract…

Sure, 80% of Americans have lower relative household income than they did in 1973, but those folks are not Larry’s cup of tea. He’s a market guy.

Larry knows the real source of our dilemma. You see, he was an advisor to Ronald Reagan. He is the staunch supply-sider, the resident expert on tinkle - down economic theory. He knows our real problem is the mere possibility, the mere spectre of …Barack Obama.

Larry describes the Obama administration’s enormous tax increases, bloated social programs, no-growth economy. But there’s a problem, Larry…we remember election rhetoric. We remember, “read my lips, no more new taxes.”

So, thanks anyway, Larry. You serve an important purpose for us - clarity. When we want to identify the problem, we look to you.

Thanks for the 411, Larry.
Equal Time/ Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

I’m driving down the road, and I’m listening to one of the female funditz on conservative talk. Fortunately, I’ve missed a good portion of it, but interspersed with the riveting reports on the sexual exploits of yet another politico, we have the results of a psychological survey…conservatives are happier than liberals, have more satisfaction, and more sex. How do we know? They say so.

If you haven’t guessed, there are a number of inherent problems in such a survey.

First of all, you’re assuming that respondents are telling the truth. Perhaps liberals are just more honest, more introspective. Perhaps liberals are less concerned about the “right answer.” Maybe they have a capacity for compassion that conservatives lack? Their experience of happiness might have a broader, societal definition. Maybe conservatives lack a depth of feeling, affecting their ability to determine what happiness is.

Maybe they’re just confusing comfort, with happiness.

As far as the sex part goes, it only makes sense. They’ve been screwing America for almost 8 years now.